How congruent are your actions with your values?

This is something I’ve been reflecting on lately as we approach the end of the year. I’ve set myself performance goals every year for as long as I can remember. Some I achieve and some I don’t. But why is that? Why don’t I complete every goal that I set my mind to?

I think it’s due to a lack of congruence between my stated goals and my internal values.

Integrity means congruence. Words and behavior match.
Nathaniel Branden

Are your stated values really your values?

The first thing to consider is the fact that your stated values may not be your actual values.  They may be how you think of yourself, or even how you would like to be, but it is important to take a close look at your true nature and be honest with yourself during the process.  Self-improvement is a worthy and admirable goal, however self-awareness is also a powerful goal.  Perhaps you would be better served to play to your unique strengths.  If you are good at something you should do it (within moral limits of course!)

Why do we fail?

New Year’s is just around the corner.  Think back to the resolutions you made last year.  Accomplished without an issue?  Or are you in the same spot, just a year older?

The key is to set the right goals.  Smart, achievable goals, with measurable results.  If your goals aren’t being reached in a reasonable time frame then modify those goals to fall in line with your values, or work on your values to gain congruence with your goals.

Or maybe you just need to toughen up with yourself and get the work done.  If you want to be tougher then be tougher.  There is no secret formula.  State your goals, make a plan to accomplish them, then put in the work.

Congruence is walking your talk.  When I look at people that I respect the common theme is that they do what they say they will do.  That’s integrity.  I plan to take a page from that notebook this year and publicly state my goals for the New Year, then hold myself accountable.  Doing your work publicly can be a very motivating factor!

What do you think?  Do you set goals or do you think that it is BS?  Is trying and failing better than never trying at all?

2 thoughts on “Congruence

  1. Hey Sean!

    Great article, I don’t think goal setting is BS at all and trying and failing far exceeds never trying at all!

    Reminds me of one Maori proverb:

    “Aim for the highest cloud, so that if you miss it, you will hit a lofty mountain.”

    More than anything for me, I’ve seen it as developing a sort of grit in character along the way of pursuing goals.

    This past year I have gotten my Chief mates license, which included 3 attempts at the cargo 3 exam, a good deal of networking with peers, and a speeding ticket, hahaha! I finally obtained my DP license 4 years after doing the induction course, with an entire stressful year of needless back and forth with the NI to obtain it. I tried going for my USCG license but ran into many roadblocks and discovered how unique their system is compared to the international standards. To end the year, I have finally completed my first semester at MUN, 3 years after initially attempting the program but stopping due to work.

    Overall, it’s been a heck of a year but I feel happy that I have been able to persevere and develop myself through the struggle. I totally agree with your point on walking your talk, as tough as it can be.

    Good to see your back at writing these wonderful articles, I wish you a happy holidays and a prosperous 2017!



  2. Hey Roger,

    Appreciate the feedback, and congrats on finishing your Mate’s ticket! That was the hardest one…

    Thanks for the great quote as well!


Let's Start a Discussion